By Selina Seesunkur
‘Treat others how you want to be treated’ is an age-old concept. In fact, you will find a similar concept in the Bible which says, ‘Therefore whatever you desire for men to do to you, you shall also do to them; for this is the law and the prophets.’ But how literally do we take this, or has this become a forgotten concept? The Bible, and society in general I would like to think, encourages kindness. If someone harms you, you really should not look to harm them back. However, to be less literal, isn’t it easier to be nice to people who are nice to you, or who you see as a familiar friend?
I am one of those people who respond immediately to a text or email. This is largely because if I do not do it there and then, chances are I will forget. My friends are exactly the same. I found it interesting that some people respond a few days or even weeks later, and wondered how they even remember to flip back and respond? So I tried it out myself. I tried it because I was trying to find new ways of prioritising, but the most interesting and unexpected thing happened. The very same people who took longer to reply, took exception when I did not respond fast enough or as quickly as they had been used to. One person even sent me a long text, which in essence asked if I was annoyed with them. “Nope”, I replied “I was just prioritising!”
I have seen people speak to others like absolute garbage, only to later command respect from the very same person they themselves disrespected. It has even happened to me. Clearly that person has no self-awareness, or perhaps they have but are too arrogant to care, which says more about them than it does of me.
Do you ever get the sense that you are always the one calling your friends, but they never or rarely call you? Do they just not bother because they know you will eventually call them, or because they are simply not as good at time management as you? Sometimes it hurts, doesn’t it! These are just a few modern day examples of issues we face in everyday modern life.
Emotional Intelligence is about being self-aware, and adaptable to external influences. It is also about the ability to recognise behaviours in others and tailor your approach accordingly. There is a lot to be said about treating others in the way you want to be treated, but there is also a lot to be said about breaking the chain and being the bigger person. Covid has given us all an opportunity to hit the reset button, but it is amazing how quickly people fall back into old habits. Make it a personal goal to not be one of those people. By taking the time to be more mindful towards others, you may just experience a more positive outcome. And if you do not, then that’s on them, not you.
Emotional Intelligence is very much in fashion, so do not live in the mercy of another person, nurture and manage your relationships intelligently.
